In more heartening news, President Obama has finally come out of the closet to declare that he supports same sex marriage.  Here’s a link to a CNN article telling us more.

This is an extraordinary step that significantly reduced the civil liberties of same sex couples in North Carolina.  That state is one of many states grappling with ballot measures to ban same-sex marriage. In 2008, California adopted Proposition 8 that amended California’s constitution to define marriage as that between a man and a woman. Proposition 8 was adopted to counteract a 2008 California Supreme Court decision, In re Marriage Cases, granting same-sex couples the right to marry. Proposition 8 was successfully challenged in a 2010 district court decision, Perry v. Schwarzenegger, which declared the amendment unconstitutional. Recently, the Ninth Circuit upheld Perry but the ability of same-sex couples to marry is on hold pending further appeal.

While the future of same-sex marriage in California is as yet undetermined, same-sex domestic partnerships will continue to be recognized in California, thus affording same-sex couples some of the important benefits granted to married couples. The domestic partnership laws in California stand in stark contrast to Amendment One. Indeed, what is unique (and particularly troubling) about Amendment One is that it goes beyond a ban on same-sex marriage and bans same-sex civil unions and domestic partnerships. Some legal analysts have even suggested that the language of the amendment prohibits opposite-sex civil unions and domestic partnerships leaving marriage as the only legally recognizable “union.”

In eliminating domestic partnerships and civil unions, Amendment One poses serious problems for same-sex couples seeking to protect their rights relating to inheritance, child custody, property ownership and health-care decision-making. Although Amendment One seems to allow for private contracting to set forth these rights, certain agreements relating to child custody, health-care directives, death benefits, etc may not be protected unless civil unions or domestic partnerships are legally recognized. Consequently, same-sex couples in California ought to pay attention to the outcome of the May 8 vote on Amendment One, and not only for how it will impact same-sex couples in North Carolina. Amendment One serves as an important, albeit sobering, lesson for same-sex couples everywhere: it is imperative to understand what rights exist for same-sex couples in your jurisdiction and how to protect those rights. For that reason, it is useful to contact an expert in domestic partnerships as various groups continue to attempt to diminish existing protections.

To learn more, contact one of our domestic partnership attorneys.

“How married couples and domestic partners structure their estate plans can make the difference between whether a family stays connected or gets blown apart after the first spouse or partner passes away. Things can be even more complicated and volatile in blended families – when there are step and half siblings and stepparents in the mix.”

Read the full article here.

Some of these activities are illegal and can be stopped with restraining orders; others reside in that blurry gray area where enforcement can be a real challenge. Either way, it’s important to be aware of how to protect yourself, and if necessary how to collect the evidence you will need if you want a restraining order.

The following are our tips for how to prevent mishandling of your digital identity.

First and foremost, be sure your computer is not corrupted with malware or spyware. Modern spyware can track every single stroke on your keyboard and easily capture passwords, emails, and credit card information. We regularly advise our clients to open up new email accounts, but if you unwittingly have a key-stroke logger on your computer, it doesn’t matter how many accounts you have – they’re all compromised. There are spyware sweepers available online, but your best bet is to hire an IT professional to conduct the sweep for you.

Second, don’t give your stalker any information to feed upon. Don’t post your personal information online – it never goes away. Be absolutely sure your social networking privacy settings (meaning Facebook, etc.) are set to the most strict and preclusive available. If you believe you are at risk of stalking, never allow social networking services to track your location. Remember that many stalkers will pose as your friends and then have access to your friends-only information. You may need to delete your social networking services entirely if you believe you are at risk.

Third, never, ever, interact with your stalker. This only fuels the problem and clouds the question of whether you are the victim. Instead, document and report. Screen-capture anything that happens online. Save your emails. Tell your friends immediately when something happens so that you have a witness. Videotape. Record. Keep text messages and voicemails. And especially if you are in danger, call the police immediately every time you are stalked or harassed.

Once you have a body of evidence that shows a pattern of behavior, contact an experienced attorney and the police to report what has occurred. An effective lawyer can give you this and more advice, and can help you to obtain a restraining order. We handle quite a few of these cases in our office, so feel free to give us a call if you need any help.

No, I don’t mean be born to billionaire parents. Although that would be awesome (money and fighting crime are cool). What I mean is that the best way to protect your business in a divorce is preparation for the worst case scenario.

Batman is the most dangerous man in the DC universe because he’s smarter and more prepared than everyone else around him. That means before you even think about tying the knot, you should . . .

Read original article here.

As some background, often times gay couples living in aState where same sex marriage is not allowed will visit another more progressive State in order to get married. This creates certain tax and financial complexities for the couple, but they’re willing to live with it for the sake of love. The real problems manifest if the couple later needs to divorce. In a State such as Maryland where the rules are inconsistent, one judge may grant the divorce while another may not. If the couple is not allowed to divorce, they’re stuck in a very painful limbo. They can either stay married – which means they can’t marry anyone else, and are still financially responsible for one another; or they can move to a State that does allow same-sex divorce for long enough to get jurisdiction in that State – which usually takes six months. Those are expensive propositions. Not everyone can afford to uproot their lives and move to another State.

California and the District of Columbia have recently enacted laws to alleviate this problem at least for couples married in their jurisdictions. California enacted the Domestic Partnership Equality Act in January 2012, which allows same-sex couples married in California but living elsewhere to get divorced in California without having to move there. DC passed a bill which does much the same in March of 2012. But those laws only solve part of the problem, as not all same sex couples were married in California and DC.

States that do not recognize same sex marriage should at least allow those couples to divorce in their States. The negative consequences are too great otherwise.

Besides, doesn’t it seem just a little too ironic that a state which says it doesn’t believe in same sex marriage is forcing same sex couples to stay married?

So how exactly does one approach a prenup gracefully? Good question. I have four tips for you.

1. First, know that you have a prenup already, whether you want one or not. The default rules of the State dictate what happens to your assets during and after any marriage. That, my friends, is a prenup. So the question here isn’t whether you want a prenup, it’s whether the prenup the State gave you supports your philosophy of marriage. If not, then you might want an agreement that better captures what you and your future spouse believe.

2. Second, approach the prenup conversation from the perspective that you want to make your coming marriage stronger by discussing difficult subjects in advance. Trust me, I’m a divorce lawyer and I know what I’m talking about here – sooner or later, disagreements about money will come up, and they’ll stay up. The more you discuss in advance, the less strain you experience later. It’s that simple. Talk about it now.

3. Third, put yourself in your fiancé’s shoes before you bring up the idea of a prenup. This one is not easy, of course, but it’s vital to do before you begin. You’ve got to imagine the needs and concerns your future partner has with regards to money. For better or worse, once you become married, you become financially responsible for your spouse. You really need to understand what that means, and what challenges your spouse is facing before you can envision a good prenup. An experienced family lawyer can help you understand the financial considerations that the other party is facing.

4. Fourth, consider alternative approaches to drafting the agreement such as mediation and collaborative drafting. More and more couples are mediating prenups these days – that means that the couples hire one lawyer to help them come up with the agreement, then hire separate lawyers to review it. The cost is bit higher, but the result is often much stronger. If that seems too expensive, then the collaborative approach might work for you – in this process, all lawyers and both parties meet together in conference to come up with the terms. This way you only need two lawyers instead of three.

5. Finally, be transparent. Involve your fiancé in each step of the process you go through to come up with the terms of the agreement. Your fiancé is your partner – treat him as such. (To be clear, I’m not suggesting you bring your fiancé to office meeting with your attorney – those meetings should remain private).

If you follow these five steps, your process should not only be palatable, but useful for your marriage as well. We handle quite a few prenups in our office, and they happen to be my favorite area of practice, so I’m happy to chat anytime on the issue. If you have questions feel free to give us a call.

Perhaps you and your co-parent divorced years ago, or perhaps the break is more recent; regardless, if your children are teens, it’s time for you and the other parent to reevaluate your co-parenting style. What worked when your children were younger may no longer be realistic or even wise now that they’re older. That’s the problem with children, they grow up; the child who once worshipped you as a minor deity is now completely exasperated with your every move. Worse, they become wilier as they get older and if they haven’t yet discovered the benefits of having parents who are separated or divorced, they’ll soon get the gist of how to manipulate the situation to their advantages.

So what’s a parent to do? Here’s a quick primer on how to ensure your teenager doesn’t get the better of you or their other parent.

1) Safety in Numbers – If you don’t already, you need to start using your co-parent as a team member. You’re going to be a team of two, an underdog team, but if you stick together, you can prevail against the acne-faced monster you’ve collectively created. Make sure your teenager knows that neither parent is going to give a “Yea” or “Nay” without first consulting with the other parent. This consultation needs to happen outside of the teenager’s presence. Do not allow your teenager to enter negotiations with you individually. Set up a conference call if necessary, but don’t allow your teen to force you into giving an off-the-cuff answer to his or her request.

2) No Means No – Consistency is key. If you tell your child no, you need your co-parent to back you up. Your child knows the divide-and-conquer strategy. Get the upper hand – once you and your co-parent have issued your executive decision, the discussion is over. This is not to say that your teen won’t keep trying, but you no longer have to respond; the verdict has already been recorded.

3) Hate is Just Another Four-Letter Word – Your teenager hates you? Congratulations! That probably means you’re doing a wonderful job. There is nothing more dangerous than the parent who believes that he or she needs to be their children’s friends. Think about it – do your friends treat you like a walking ATM? Borrow your car and bring it home with an empty tank? Ignore you at the dinner table? If you need another friend, join a book club.

4) Bad Cop/Bad Cop – When telling your child “No,” don’t give into temptation and throw your co-parent under the bus. Blaming the other parent is never a good idea. Remember, you are working as a team to raise a responsible adult who has limits. See Item 1.

5) Pretend Your Child has a Choice – Practice issuing decisions such as: “Your mother and I have decided that we can’t let you go to the Girls Gone Wild Spring Break in Cancun. However, we did see that the Sisters of Perpetual Sorrow are sponsoring a Spring Break Habitat for Humanity trip in Arkansas, so we’ve signed your up for that instead; of course, you could still go with your father/mother on that camping trip to Yosemite.”

There’s no “I” in parent, so work together with your co-parent. If you do, you can create an adult with whom other people enjoying spending time, and not someone who is going to appear on Cops.

If you find yourself in a difficult co-parenting situation, please feel free to contact our offices at your convenience. As child custody lawyers, much of our work deals with creating realistic co-parenting solutions. We’re happy to help.

A vocational evaluation is the process used to assess a person’s current or future employability and wage earning capacity for the court. The evaluation is a neutral process that describes the person’s relationship to the work world. Often a career plan is one result of the evaluation, worked out in cooperation with the person who is being evaluated.

The vocational evaluation usually involves two to three meetings (more, if needed) with an evaluator who has master’s level training and who is qualified as an expert with the American Board of Vocational Experts (ABVE). Research about the labor market and earnings are performed and the results are included in a report that is distributed usually to the attorney(s).

The first meeting is a question and answer interview to gather information about a person’s employability. This may include information about education, work and volunteer experience, health, age, length of absence from the work force, career goals, motivation and current family responsibilities.

The next meeting may include vocational testing. There are a wide variety of vocational testing methods used. These instruments cannot be passed or failed but are used to develop a profile that includes abilities and aptitudes, skills, interests, personality, decision making style and work values. You will be able to discuss the results of the assessments with the counselor to understand your profile which is helpful in several ways. It can guide someone who is uncertain focus on a career direction, uncover interests and abilities that were hidden or forgotten, and provide positive feedback on a person’s strengths or indicate where more resources may be needed.

In between appointments, you and the counselor may research career or work options to gather information about job outlook, earnings, qualifications and training requirements for different job titles within an appropriate geographical area. All resources, such as information about organizations, industries, trade associations, job openings, training and education that we know of or discover are shared with you.

In the next meeting, all of the information gained in the evaluation process including client interviews, counselor observation, medical/ psychological reports, if needed, and test data are integrated and discussed with you. Your feedback is always an important part of this process.

Next steps are recommended based on both immediate and long term job or career objectives and goals, which may include several options. These steps are based on your expressed interests as well as your ability to be employed, whether or not you want to return to a previously held job or career, and the conditions of the labor market. You have the right to a fair and impartial vocational evaluation and the opportunity to review the test results and the information contained in the report.

If you have any questions about evaluations, please feel free to contact us, or reach out to Lisa directly.