Probably the first question people ask about premarital agreements (also called prenuptial agreements, or “prenups”), is “when should we start planning?” I’m sure you can guess the answer: start planning as early as possible.

There are two main reasons to get started negotiating your premarital agreement early.   First, if it ever comes to enforcement, courts want to see that all the parties involved had plenty of time to consider what they were getting into, and that they got into it voluntarily. That means no signing on your wedding day. When California courts invalidate prenups, they often do so because one party either didn’t know what they were getting into (for instance, they didn’t have a lawyer), or they signed the agreement under unfair pressure – for example, they didn’t have enough time to fully consider the agreement. Give your fiancé enough time to fully discuss the agreement with his lawyer, and you avoid both of these problems.

Second, allowing for plenty of time is the more graceful approach to a difficult topic. A prenup can make your marriage stronger if you approach it gently. This means not dumping the idea on your fiancé two weeks before the wedding. There is no better way to terrify your fiancé than demanding he sign an agreement when the invitations have already gone out. Imagine: grandma has already booked her ticket, the cake is already mostly baked, and the dress is just back from the tailor. You come home one night, and drop a prenup in his lap. What do you imagine is going to happen? It’s not pretty – that’s not the kind of pressure to place on your future partner. Trust me, give him time. Bring the topic up slowly. Discuss it in terms of what’s fair and supports your relationship. You’re entering a life-long partnership here. Treat it respectfully.

A good California prenup lawyer can guide you around all these issues. Some lawyers can even draft a document in just a couple of days, but that’s not a situation you want to find yourself in. The longer you wait to get started, the weaker your agreement will likely be. Take the time and do it right.

— Erik W. Newton

Category: Premartial Agreements.